Oh My God, This Is Horrible
I have been photographing weddings now for 15 years. I've seen so much ridiculous stuff go down and I've never chronicled it with words. I save these stories for friends and family and clients. For family and friends it is for a good laugh, for clients its a source of useful information on why they shouldn't smash cake, why they should time limit toasts and why a garter toss is utterly humiliating. So, to the sister-in-law at my most recent elopement in Oak Harbor, I dedicate this blog to you.
I have a lady, her name will be revoked to protect her and we will call her Friend, who's children go to school with mine. She happens to be a legal officiant and stays pretty busy with this job. When she discovered what I do, we linked together. People contact her about elopements and she always asks if they want a photographer. We love her because of this.
Well, a woman reached out to her for a destination elopement and Friend mentioned me. Our lady booked us both and then kept in diligent contact and made sure details were clear and exact. This lady worked very hard to make sure this day was not a disaster. Friend had a wedding up north and afterwards arrived in our destination city early. She apparently sat in her car for several hours waiting for her arrival time. I arrived first and got right to work. Now, I don't know why people offer me alcohol upon my arrival but this tends to happen frequently. I am working. Why would you offer your employee a shot right when they arrive at work? It makes no sense and if I had my way I would tell all couples getting married to NOT DO THIS. Friend arrives and of course, she is offered a drink. Not paying attention and thinking she could be having water, I know that friend has said yes to a drink.
Commence wedding. At the very last moment the bride requests a prayer and this is really where I feel things went wrong. Friend has no prayer on hand and has to do a quick Google search. She finds one but will need to read this tiny printed prayer from her phone oh so casually so it isn't obvious she is un professionally reading from her phone. She stumbles over the lines. As she reads, she looks up to the couple and as she looks down, she can't remember where she is. There are brief moments of awkward silences. Then, Friend gets to the real talk of the ceremony and OBVIOUSLY FORGETS THE BRIDES NAME. Right now, my heart hurts for Friend. She gets it right and quickly says she had a similar name stuck in her head. Proceeding on she asks the groom if he is ready to be the brides wife. Then I hear it. The grooms sister-in-law is not quiet or considerate and she says what everyone is thinking, "Oh my God, this is terrible. Oh my God, this is awful." The bride looks out to the small crowd clearly wanting to die, the groom turns to the small crowd and admits he had a shot with Friend before the ceremony. The in-law repeats it once more and the wedding commences to conclusion with only a few odd moments from the grooms nervousness and excitement.
What a friggen' disaster. But you know what, thats real wedding business. Every wedding has a story and I swear just when I think I have seen it all, another disaster strikes again. So, take this lesson with you. Do not offer your hired help alcohol unless you are ready to kiss your hard work goodbye!
I have a lady, her name will be revoked to protect her and we will call her Friend, who's children go to school with mine. She happens to be a legal officiant and stays pretty busy with this job. When she discovered what I do, we linked together. People contact her about elopements and she always asks if they want a photographer. We love her because of this.
Well, a woman reached out to her for a destination elopement and Friend mentioned me. Our lady booked us both and then kept in diligent contact and made sure details were clear and exact. This lady worked very hard to make sure this day was not a disaster. Friend had a wedding up north and afterwards arrived in our destination city early. She apparently sat in her car for several hours waiting for her arrival time. I arrived first and got right to work. Now, I don't know why people offer me alcohol upon my arrival but this tends to happen frequently. I am working. Why would you offer your employee a shot right when they arrive at work? It makes no sense and if I had my way I would tell all couples getting married to NOT DO THIS. Friend arrives and of course, she is offered a drink. Not paying attention and thinking she could be having water, I know that friend has said yes to a drink.
Commence wedding. At the very last moment the bride requests a prayer and this is really where I feel things went wrong. Friend has no prayer on hand and has to do a quick Google search. She finds one but will need to read this tiny printed prayer from her phone oh so casually so it isn't obvious she is un professionally reading from her phone. She stumbles over the lines. As she reads, she looks up to the couple and as she looks down, she can't remember where she is. There are brief moments of awkward silences. Then, Friend gets to the real talk of the ceremony and OBVIOUSLY FORGETS THE BRIDES NAME. Right now, my heart hurts for Friend. She gets it right and quickly says she had a similar name stuck in her head. Proceeding on she asks the groom if he is ready to be the brides wife. Then I hear it. The grooms sister-in-law is not quiet or considerate and she says what everyone is thinking, "Oh my God, this is terrible. Oh my God, this is awful." The bride looks out to the small crowd clearly wanting to die, the groom turns to the small crowd and admits he had a shot with Friend before the ceremony. The in-law repeats it once more and the wedding commences to conclusion with only a few odd moments from the grooms nervousness and excitement.
What a friggen' disaster. But you know what, thats real wedding business. Every wedding has a story and I swear just when I think I have seen it all, another disaster strikes again. So, take this lesson with you. Do not offer your hired help alcohol unless you are ready to kiss your hard work goodbye!
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